Conversations from Movies #4 - Men Who Stare At Goats
Commentary: Reasons why men go to war.
Bob: (narrating) You know the little man. He’s the one who says,
“Keep your head down, stay in your little town, your little job”
Bob: You’re a lucky guy, your wife loves you, you have everything you want
Bob: You’re not looking for some great adventure.
But then, one day, when you least expect it
The great adventure finds you
Bob: Ron’s sudden death was the catalyst for everything.
Bob: Deborah told me later that it had been a wake up call for her.
Bob: What people used to call a memento mori.
Bob: Ron’s massive coronary had reminded her that life was just too short to waste any chance at true happiness
Bob: And that his death had help put everything into perspective.
Bob: A week after the funeral, she left me for my editor.
Bob: It seemed like such a tragedy at the time.
Bob: We couldn’t see beyond our little lives to the great events of history unfolding out there in the world.
Bob: I was like a child or a Hobbit safe from the shire
Bob: Or a blond farm boy
in a distant desert planet
unaware that he was already
taking the first steps on the path
that would lead him relentlessly
towards the heart of a conflict
between the forces of
Good and Evil
George Bush: (on the Television) Americans are a resolute people
who have risen to every test of our time
Adversity has revealed the character of our country to the world
Bob: Had I known where that path would lead
had a soft wind from my future
brought me the name of Bill Django
I might never have gone
But as it was
Bob: I did what so many men
have done throughout history
when a woman has broken
their heart…
I went to war.
![This would have been a lot more useful a few months ago, you know, before you she de-friended me and I went crazy for a little bit.
thedailywhat:
Useful warning is useful.
[eatliver.]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kxqm8pKsxy1qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
This would have been a lot more useful a few months ago, you know, before you she de-friended me and I went crazy for a little bit.
Useful warning is useful.
[eatliver.]
Conversations from Movies #3 - Office Space
Commentary: Getting dumped and staying home from work has never looked so carefree and lackadaisical.
Peter: Hello
Anne: Peter what’s going on?
Peter: Huh?
Anne: It’s 3:30. Why aren’t you at work?
Peter: Because I didn’t feel like it.
Anne: Peter what’s gotten into you? First you just sit there when Dr. Swanson dies. Then you just walk out of the car and embarass me in front of my friends. And don’t blame this on hypnosis either, that’s total bullshit —-
Peter: *Hangs up*
(Phone rings again, goes to answering machine)
Anne: Listen asshole, no one hangs up on me. We’re through! Oh and one more thing, I’ve been cheating on you.
Conversations from Movies #2 - Office Space
Commentary: Friends tell friends when there is a naked chick on Channel 9 that sorta looks like their psuedo-girlfriend.
Lawrence: (Yells through the wall)
Hey Peter, man! Check out channel 9, check out this chick!
Peter: Damnit Lawrence, can’t you just pretend like we can’t hear each other through the walls?
Lawrence: Oh sorry man, is Anne over there or something?
Peter: No but… if you want to talk to me just come over.
Lawrence: Hey man, check this out dude.
Peter: Aw jeez Lawrence.
Lawrence: Aw I’m sorry man, I thought you wanted to see this. Doesn’t that chick look like Anne?
Peter: Yeah… a little bit.
Lawrence: Hey she hasn’t been over here in awhile. You two still going out?
Peter: Yeah I guess I don’t know. Sometimes I get the feeling that she’s cheating on me.
Lawrence: Yeah I get that feeling too, man.
Peter: What do you mean by that?
Lawrence: I just get that feeling, man, you know looking at her like she’s the type of chick that would just… I’m sorry man.
Peter: Forget it
Conversations from Movies #1 - Office Space
Commentary: Friends tell friends when they think his girlfriend is a megaslut.
Peter: Besides, I’m still trying to work it out with Anne.
Oh that reminds me, I won’t be able to play poker with you guys on Friday.
Michael: Why not?
Peter: Uh, I’m going to see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne.
Michael: Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist?
Peter: Yeah I know… Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help.
You know, somtimes I think… I get the feeling that she is cheating on me.
Michael: Yeah I know what you mean.
Samir: Yeah.
Peter: What is that supposed to mean?
the empty new year
For some reason at the beginning of every year, I have trouble remembering the date. While I was in grade school, upon returning from winter break, I would always date my papers and homework assignments with the previous year’s date. This was simply because it was out repetition and habit of doing the same thing for the entirety of the previous year.
Just last year, I wrote a rent check to my landlord that was dated January ‘08 instead of January ‘09. I’m starting to think that it’s simply because I have this attachment to previous year, and I’m not ready to commit to the changes that are to come in the next year. Sure, everyone else is ready to do the countdown, make New Year’s resolutions and generally forget everything that happened in the previous year, but I don’t think it’s that simple for me.
There is no “wipe the slate clean” button programmed into my head. Is there any real difference between December 31st, 2009 and January 1st, 2010? For some people, they’d like to believe that a year has passed, but for me, it was only 24 hours ago, and my same fears and insecurities that existed then are still prevalent now, if not more so.
I find it funny that individuals make blind proclamations and assumptions that the upcoming year will be better. As for me on the other hand, I know that by simply writing a different date on a piece of paper by adjusting it one single digit doesn’t change much. I’ll be ready to move on from whatever this is whenever I feel like I’m ready and not when nonsensical conventions say so.
2009 didn’t end in my book, it just merely blended into a larger chapter of my life timeline.
Finally got my new glasses.
Apologies to Buddy Holly…
Elvis Costello…
… and Rivers Cuomo for “jocking their style”.
Hopefully, I’m not just going to be made fun of like Bart was.
I’ve been watching older episodes of The Simpsons, when I came across this gem. Oh Ralph Wiggum, how I sympathize with you.
To set the scene, Lisa gives Ralph a pity Valentine’s Day card because she feels bad for him. As a result, Ralph invites Lisa to Krusty’s 28th Anniversary Show. Krusty goes into the audience for an interview and asks Ralph about his “girlfriend” and the heartbreak ensues.
Ralph Wiggum: I love Lisa Simpson and when I grow up I’m going to marry her.
Lisa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now you listen to me. I don’t like you. I never liked you. And the only reason I gave you that stupid valentine was because nobody else would.Bart: (Watching the scene unfold later on TV)
Watch this Lisa, you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half. And…. now!
Concert Followup
The Pixies concert last thursday was awesome as expected. Filled with a pretty diverse age group, but there was definitely a fair share of old 30-40 yr old dudes living in the past, drunkenly yelling “PIXIES!!!” at the top of their lungs, while we were eagerly awaiting their set. It was pretty amazing to be able to see such an iconic and influential band that was before my time play a live show.
A few notes about what went down that evening. I was basically standing shoulder to shoulder in a sea of people, which is pretty normal, but I didn’t expect such a raucous crowd at a Pixies show. I lost my friends in the ensuing frenzy and was basically dry humped by a legion of single young men.
Basically when you are out of a relationship, you get pretty jumpy with physical contact from anyone. No more reason for holding hands, hugging, kissing, or any other physical contact. So basically being in a sea of people who are very touchy is a very awkward and unsettling thing.
By the time I cleared myself from the grope fest, I found myself in an even more depressing predicament. I somehow had become sandwiched in between three couples. While this may look like some stupid guitar tab, I assure you it’s just a diagram about how trapped I was.
X= Boyfriend, O = Girlfriend, I = My lonesome self
———X————
———-O———-
—-X-O-I-O——-
————-X———
Basically, if there is a God or some divine deity out there, they are basically tormenting me and parading the fact that everyone besides me is getting some action. I mean I guess I shouldn’t be complaining because I was in the safest position possible, what with being nestled between all the women and protected by the men.
Anyways, I was able to meet Kim Deal at the end of the show. Turns out she is super nice and she’s in AA, so she ended up leaving the show right after it finished. Now if I can only somehow meet the rest of the girls on my list…
i’m a loner dottie, a rebel
Notwithstanding the obvious creepiness that goes along with Pee Wee Herman, I wish I could have been as shockingly cool and cavalier about my departure as the title character was in this scene from his film, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Instead I’m pretty sure I tried to break things off first while I washing my car, and then again while Pearl Harbor was playing on the television and we were having a serious talk. In retrospect things would have been much simpler if I used this line, and then rolled away via bicycle.
The line was so iconic that it inspired The Get Up Kids to name a song after it.
Keep in mind, this was the type of music that I listened to as a high school adolescent who knew nothing about heartbreak. For some reason I sympathized and I felt intimately connected with the music despite my lack of expertise in the subject. Little did I know this was to prepare me for the feelings that I would soon face in the future.
This clip from season one of Important Things with Demetri Martin perfectly encapsulates how my summer of 2008 (a.k.a. the summer of discontent) went:
Not getting angry enough at guilty party? Check.
Misdirection of anger? Check.
Taking out anger on wrong people? Check.
Smashing of vases? Well not particularly.
I definitely lost my marbles for a little bit that summer. At one point, my mom even had to sit me down and ask me if there was anything wrong going on in my life. My mother had noticed that I was particularly quick to anger and frustration during my 2 months home from school during the summer. It wasn’t because she was particularly observant that she noticed my erratic behavior (not that this is a knock on her), I think I was just being really blatant about my discontent and dissatisfaction with how unfair the world was (i.e. “how could this happen to me?” attitude).
Of course, I vehemently denied all of her allegations and attributed my behavior to summer boredom and the fact that I was simply lacking intellectually stimulating things to do. She reluctantly accepted my explanation but told me that I should be comfortable telling her if anything was wrong in my life. I nodded, and simply went back to my room. This was the summer where I biked everywhere and played video games into the early morning hours to help ease the pain of heartbreak.
i was never a violent person
I have never been one to gravitate towards confrontation, be it physical or verbal. I’ve been in one physical fight all of my life, and that only happened because there were bullies at my sunday morning Vietnamese bible school (go figure). I only did so because I thought that by entering myself in the fracas, that I would somehow help protect my friend. It didn’t quite work out so well for the both of us.
Anyways, despite my lack of a violent nature I can totally understand the feeling that Rob feels in this next clip from High Fidelity. To set up the context for those who haven’t seen the movie, this is the scene where Rob encounters his ex-girlfriend’s current lover and goes batshit insane.
All I can say is that there was a span of many sleepless nights where all I wanted was to kick an unnamed individiual’s ass, this individual being the equivalent of an Ian/Ray character and myself acting as an angry Rob. Granted, I was never actually crazy enough to throw it down with this individual and/or I was wise enough to realize that a good ass kicking would not solve my relationship woes.
Still this video clip offers me some sense of satisfaction in knowing that love can drive a man to do strange things. Cheers to everyone else who has also experienced these feelings of completely irrational and inexcusable behavior.
i wish this would happen in real life
Ex-girlfriend: Whatever happens in the end, I don’t want to lose you as my friend.
Jack: I promise, I will never be your friend. No matter what. Ever.
Okay here’s an example of something so absurd and ridiculous in a movie, that I have no idea how it would happen in real life. To be able to say a line like that, and then be able to have hot sex with Natalie Portman, CMON!
